Moms to Moms by Barbara Joy

Author:Barbara Joy
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781609256029
Publisher: Red Wheel Weiser

Praise and Encouragement

We all do better when we have someone to encourage us. The good news is that a little can go a long way.

I spent so much time trying to do the right thing that I didn't realize one of the things I used to tell my children before I started using had stuck with them. In a parenting class, I had learned the phrase, “Tell me what I did right not what I did wrong.” Another way to say it was, “Praise the good and ignore the bad.” My kids would surprise me by cleaning the whole house and instead of saying great job, I would say, “You forgot to take out the garbage.” Or they would mow the lawn, and instead of saying thank you, I would say, “You forgot to do the edge by the fence.” One day my son pointed out to me, “Why can't you ever just say good job or thank you instead of being so negative?” I do now and bite my tongue on the rest.

—KIM K.

Have you noticed how you feel when someone thanks you? Usually we feel good and want to repeat that same behavior. A simple thank you can go a long way with adults and children alike.

I recently lost my job. I was so scared that we were going to end up on the streets. When my daughter came home from school, I told her that my company was closing and that I was out of a job. I began to cry, feeling like such a failure, even though it wasn't my fault that the company was closing. Fear had set in and I felt frozen. My daughter came over and just gave me a big hug and then whispered in my ear, “Mom, you are so strong and smart. You will find another job, and I bet it will be even better than this one. I know you can do this and will be back at work soon, very soon.” That is exactly what I needed to hear. Someone believed in me and my ability to find more work.

—KERI D.

I've known this mom and daughter for several years. I've watched Keri encourage and praise her daughter through many trials and tribulations. And now her daughter is giving a loving dose of encouragement back to her mom.

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